Lindsay and I have been trying to make babies for a few years now. We’ve been able to get pregnant a few times, but staying pregnant has been more trying. One of the most difficult challenges of my life has been to be happy for friends and family who have successful pregnancies. I want to be happy, I really do, but instead, I battle being heartbroken and sad and jealous.

My sister had a baby. If I concentrated hard enough on how wonderful it was that she wanted Lindsay and me involved in their lives, I was able to be grateful. We went to Utah to visit this new little one, and he is the sweetest newborn I’ve ever cuddled. We really are so lucky to be aunties again.

As we drove home from Utah, I realized I’d never experienced Nevada in January. The dusting of snow dressed it up so beautifully. I rarely take landscapes because I’m so bad at them, but I almost couldn’t miss under these conditions.